So New Year's wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. The plans were always to go to Michael's and have a small BBQ get-together with singstar (yes!), but at work yesterday afternoon I found out that all these people I really do not like were coming (apparently having invited themselves... che embarrassato!) so I was expecting the worst. It was a surprisingly pleasant night and I got quite drunk, to my annoyance, but I felt I needed to in order to distract myself from some of the people there.
Funniest thing though - Michael's ex's new boyfriend texted Michael one of those "send to all" New Year's greetings, and I was like, Oh HELL no! First, why would he have Mike's number?? Secondly, don't be sending one of those coupley texts to someone after the horrible breakup. And thirdly, this guy has wanky Sonic the Hedgehog hair (that point is obviously integral to the story). So I got the number off Michael and called this guy and was like, "Who is this??? I hope you have a horrible new year and your hair is fugly and so's your face." At least I think I said that. I don't really remember. But then started a texting fest which cracked me up this morning when I reread it:
*all text is as originally written
Him (H): Whateva! Dont hate! Happy new year.
Me (M): I hate. Fuck you and your face. And your stupid hair.
H: I must have a wrong nmber. Sorry! I am not friends with weirdos. U dont know me so even pretend 2 start.
M: You and your face are ridiculous.
H: OK well my dad is a cop so i will just past this on.
M: Well so's my brother. So you're welcome.
Then the ex-boyfriend called me and I have no idea what he said or what I said, but I'm sure it was hillarious, and I'm sure I made such witty comments as, "I hope your year is horrible" and "You and your boyfriend can have ugly hair together."
Yes, I am 12 years old, but, bitch, I don't care. I was drunk and it was fun. And reading the messages this morning had me cracking up, especially the "You and your face are ridiculous" remark. WTF?! I am the one who is ridiculous!