Wednesday, 27 August 2008

So apparently I'm the only one who gives a shit.

I'm so fucking angry at the moment.

I got a call from Jonas last night asking me if I remembered the plans the family had for scattering Nonno's ashes on the aniversary of his death. Do I remember?? I took annual leave for that weekend months ago.

So anyway, apparently we can't do it that weekend.

Because Jonas and Daniel are going to Indy that weekend.

Oh really?

I'm so fucking pissed. When he told me I grit my teeth and asked, "How could you schedule a holiday on the one day that you really shouldn't?" and Jonas was just like, "Well, Dan and I didn't know the date for Indy."

Fucking cancel that shit! What the fuck? I'm already shitty that it's taken us so long to scatter his ashes, that they've been sitting in that fucking box next to his bed for an entire year, and then this?? At least the anniversary of his death would have been symbolic, but now we're just doing it on a random day that doesn't conflict with anyone's precious vacations.

So anyway, I checked the calendar, and the weekend after his death isn't good for me because the Monday after it everything in the entire world is due, so I'm like, "Well, that weekend's not good for me," and Jonas was like, "Well, we can do it whenever."

Sure. OK. It's like I'm the only one who cares. I was the only one who cared about his birthday, and practically the only one who remembered. But the rest of the family thinks it's weird that I haven't moved on. I think it's weird how easily they did. And it's not that I haven't moved on, cos I don't think of him everyday now, like I did in the beginning, but I just think that days like his birthday and the day he died are important, crazy as that may sound.

In other news, I'm just in such an angry mood. I pretty much hate everyone today. People in the house are shitting me with their disgusting mess, work is shitting me, and I haven't even been in there since Sunday. Just the fact that I have to go tomorrow is shitting me, and the fact that I'm working 10-7 when I thought it would only be a five hour shift. And the fact that I'm so cranky at the moment is shitting me the most.

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