Aahh, so nice!

Today was absolutely lovely. It's like the first four hours didn't even exist.

After the essay was all handed in, I came home and immediately started cleaning my room. Everything's where it's supposed to be now. Except for a pile of books Emma returned to me that she had literally had for years. They do not fit on the bookshelf, so they are neatly standing in a pile next to it. I didn't end up buying myself organisational stuff.

Instead I did this:

I went and got my hair cut. It looks exactly the same as it did before, but the dead ends are chopped off. Judith - check out the photo on top of my TV - Medieval Times, oh yeah!

I also spent about an hour in Gloria Jeans reading Vanity Fair, then spent a whole heap of money I can't afford. I bought some shorts and a top from Glassons. I already have the top in navy, so I bought it in cream for summer cos it was on sale. Then because I spent over $50 I got a free $15 gift voucher, so I bought a henley top in the exact shade of blue to replace the henley top I just gave to the Salvos today. Yes, I cleaned out my wardrobe and discovered that I need more summer stuff. This happens to me every year - i just manage to have my wardrobe looking winter awesome, and then it's too hot to wear anything again.

So yeah, just a generally really good day.

WOOT WOOT!

And I am doney done done. It's handed in, I'm breathing freely, and now let the cleaning begin!

I've also scheduled myself in for a haircut cos I deserve one. :) And my hair is a rat's nest at the moment.

Ahhhh, honestly, I love when this feeling leaves me!

Ruh-Roh

I'm 1500 words into my 2500 word essay.... about about 2/3s through the things I had to talk about. Shit shit shitty shit shit.

I might just pad to the Bourdieu crap. So over it.

Wooooooo-saaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhh

That will only make sense if you've watched Bad Boys II recently, or you're a freak like myself who quotes old movies. (Bad Boys I, even though it was made before I was even in high school, still had me calling my maths teacher "Mike Lowrey" the way Martin Lawrence said it. Although I would never say it to Mrs. Lowrey's face...)

So, seeing as I've been sitting at my computer for two hours now and have only managed to scrape out another hundred words, I've decided to implement incentives. If I manage to finish this essay tonight, or at the very most, 9am tomorrow, tomorrow I get to pamper myself by cleaning my room, sorting out my closet and buying a couple of things I don't need. Yes, this is pampering myself because my room and closet are filth at the moment and it makes me so ill. Cleaning makes me happy. Organisation makes me happy. Ooh, maybe one of my rewards can be some of those clear boxes that slide under your bed, and I can put things in it that won't fit in drawers.

Now I'm excited. I'll finish my dinner and get right on it!

I spoke to my little sister for the first time in nearly a week and a half today. She talked my ear off for nearly half an hour. She loves to say things that she thinks will make me angry, like "Twilight sucks" and mentioning how much she loves my brother's girlfiend (typo, but it stays), but it makes me giggle, which makes her frustrated, which continues the cycle. She told me that she's apparently "grown up" now, because she has learnt to catch the bus. Don't laugh - I think this is a pretty big accomplishment. I still need to have people tell me exactly which bus number to catch, and bus timetables don't make any sense to me at all ( I also don't like the fact that you can't get a bus timetable until you're physically on the bus). It all comes from living in the Hills District, where there's one bus company, and no trains, and I think maybe one bus a day (not including school buses) goes past my street, and doesn't actually go down my street, so it's still a 5 or so minute walk to the actual bus stop. So yeah, people in my area don't catch public transport. They use their parents to drive them everywhere, and then they get their licences on the day of their 17th birthdays and drive everywhere. Plus, buses are expensive. I once thought I'd be thrifty and catch public transport down to Sydney, got on the bus at Pennant Hills station, only to discover that even as a student, the price from the station to Round Corner Dural was nearly $4. Yes, I'm cheap, but that's a lot considering it's a 15 minute drive, and it's not even anywhere near my house - I then have to get my little nonna to come pick me up.

Whinging about public transport is just the norm when you live in the Hills.

Yes, another "ARGH! ESSAY" post

I've written 1000 words. 996 to be exact. 1500 to go. I just can't see how I'll be able to do it. These first thousand were like pulling teeth, and it includes my intro and conclusion. I'm thinking of going to bed and hoping I'll do some in the morning. Maybe I should just hand it in on Monday and lose 20%. We'll see how tomorrow goes.

Check your mailbox

I sent someone a little something something for their birthday next week....

And someone else whose birthday is coming up in just over a month should keep an eye out for their mail... Ja?? :P

God I hate surprises. I almost texted that person to let them know what it is that I was buying and sorry, there's no tim tams this time. I had no time in my lunch break to go to both the post office and the supermarket to buy them. :(

You know, if I come to Germany next year, I will bring a suitcase of just tim tams for you. :)

Oh, and Lara, UPDATE YOUR BLOODY BLOG!!! One post does not constitute a blog!

Something to smile about.

I got an email from my host family. It distracted me from the aura of stress I seem to be projecting today. I hope so badly that I can see them next year. It makes me sad to think that Jack's already in year 5 and practically a grown up and I'm missing out. I absolutely adore that little boy.

He's probably forgotten me by now.

Don't think ahead!

Right. So I finished my essay yesterday. Had I known how quickly it would be finished I would have not procrastinated so much.... yeah, that last sentence is a total lie. So anyway, finished it, went to print out my extension form.... and it said my extension was still pending. Because I hadn't handed the supporting documents in. The supporting docs that I handed in last Monday.

Why does the world hate me?

No Sarah, it doesn't hate you. Obviously I've just told the universe to not make things work out for me.

Meh. Fail shmail (she says, until her scholarship is revoked and she suddenly has to PAY for university).

So meanwhile, I have a day and a half to finish this other essay. DO IT! Don't think about next week, or more particularly, the week after when you have annual leave and you're going to hang out at home with the family.... DON'T THINK AHEAD until everything's finished.

Stupid 1004.

I wish I was that patient etherised upon that table...

Yes, titles recently have been very Prufrock themed, seeing as that's all I can think about right now. I'm currently writing the essay, I have all the material, but it's just so hard!!! I keep coming up with all these awesome ideas, but the essay's only allowed to be 1000 words. Why the hell do they impose ridiculous word limits? I'm not even scratching the SURFACE let alone getting anything deeper in. Stupid poem had to be so bloody long and have to freaking much to say.

Oh, and I finished Veronica Mars. LOVED it. So sad there's only three seasons.

In a minute there is time...

...or not really.

Seriously, I don't know what my problem is. Do the readings. Do the essay. Simple, no? No. Instead, I'm watching Veronica Mars, reading the paper, baking cookies...

Self-sabotage, thy name is Sarah.

Meanwhile, I'm absolutely buggered. Ironic choice of words. But anyway, absolutely buggered from lack of sleep. For some crazy reason I woke up at 8am after going to bed at about 2am. Silly girl. Last night was odd too. It started with us going to a dodgy, dodgy, pub to watch comedy, skipping out to get a coffee which, for some reason I decided not to get and got a smoothie instead, then off to a gay bar for karaoke. But before a gay bar Michael was refused entry to a pub for being "too drunk". Just because he was skipping doesn't mean he's drunk! He's just a little gay!!! This is the second time this sort of thing has happened. Last time it was Gilly's 21st where he was kicked out of the pub for "walking drunk", which Michael still maintains, and I concur, that he was just prancing. Lol.

Speaking of gay though, it's funny how homophobic Beau is. At Gateway, the gay bar (gay bar, gay bar), Beau was busting to use the bathroom but had to wait until the one cubicle was free for fear of all the gays at the urinal. Lol. It's funny when gay people are homophobic. But the gays are such a lovely people! Much like the Filippinos!! the last two lines added for Michael's viewing pleasure.

How cultured of me!

So last night I went to see a production of Twelfth Night that was on at the uni. It was a pretty good interpretation, though for some reason they decided to make the ending a tragedy rather than the comedy it's supposed to be. But I can live with that.

In a testament to the power of Oprah (like I needed proof), today I'm going to go out and buy a cork board to turn into my "vision board". Basically what I have to do is put my goals on it or something so I can visualise them actually happening. If that fails, at least I'll have a pretty board with nice pictures in my room! And it can't hurt.

I'm also going to turn one of my cahiers into a gratitude journal. I was going to go out and buy a completely new one but decided against it, due to poverty. (Speaking of which, I tried to withdraw $20 last night, but was declined. I just checked my account and had over $100. Stupid bank trying to embarrass me in the store.) But meanwhile, the gratitude journal is where at the end of each day, even if it was the shittiest day in the history of shitty days, you write down something positive that you are grateful for.

This positive thinking stuff can't hurt.

Oh, and as a sign that I'm MEANT to be in Germany next year, both Rachel AND Nicole Mac will be living over in Europe at the same time. Coincidence? Yeah, probably, but I'm using it as a sign. Rachel asked if I'll be there at Christmas, which I will, and if she could spend Christmas with me cos she didn't want to spend it with strangers or alone. Meanwhile, she'll make so many new friends over there that she'll forget about me (lol!) but I was like, "Bitch please! Like you get a choice. You're staying with me, we're going to drink warm red wine at the Christkindlmarket and we're going to have a(nother) freezing cold Christmas." Meanwhile, I so haven't checked any of this out with Lara. Lol. I'm just hoping for the best. Positive thoughts and all.

Can't be arsed

There's too many bad vibes in the house at the moment. There's Miranda, the mess, and now Nadia is batshit crazy, plus the people in the back house keep writing messages on the whiteboard about things they're cranky about. The first message was about people not washing their stuff properly. How many times have I had to rewash their stuff the next morning because it's still dirty? And last night they put a message on the board about people leaving the shower dripping in the main bathroom, and to turn it off. But how many times have I gone past their shower and the tap is dripping? I don't make a fuss, I just turn that shit off. Things like that aren't hurting anyone. They're annoying, but not making the place unbearable to live in.

The mess is.

Seriously, just wipe down the bench after you've cooked. Why is that difficult. Isn't it just a habit after years and years? I hardly ever used to cook when I lived at home, yet on those odd occasions I did I cleaned everything up afterwards. And why would you keep piling things into the recycling bin if it's full? Empty it. Which is what I'll have to do now.

I know, I go over this a lot on here, but it's all the more annoying now. I think everyone's gotten to the point in the house that they hate everyone else and everything everyone does.

In other news, Jonas came up to visit on Saturday night. I wanted to show him a good time in town. HA! Oxymoron. It was a shit night and I felt so bad. He came all the way up here to do absolutely nothing.

Oh well.

Mmmmmm, baking...

So I've decided to bake cookies today for tomorrow's funeral. I've decided to make the monster cookies that Jen Collopy made for that au pair cookie swap. God, I loved those cookies. I hope they turn out well.

On another note, last weekend I asked my manager if I could use her as a reference in getting a Christmas casual job, and she looked at me like a crazy woman.

"But you'll be getting so many hours here!" she said.

"Well, can you guarantee that? Because last Christmas I was lucky to be getting 14 hours a week, and coupled with the thousand times I had to move and the expensive rent etc. I was on struggle street."

"Well, you'll definately be doing at least the full 30 hours per week that you can do as a casual, and we will be making a few fulltime contracts for the Christmas period, so you may get one of those."

Sounds good to me. The way the General Manager, David, put it, sounded like I'd definately be getting one cos I'm on the merch team.

I know it sounds silly, but I really was hoping for a second job. I was going to set up a specific bank account for that job so the money could go into a separate account and I'd never see it. Now I need to actually learn how to save. Inconceivable!!!

Bad

So I've decided to use Uncle George's death to ask for an extension on my Creative Writing critical essay. In my defense, I am going to spend tomorrow morning baking cookies to bring to the wake. And it has put me in a weird place.

But using it as a reason for an extension makes me feel so guilty. It reminds me of my first time in uni when I cited "family problems" as an excuse for an extension and then my parents seperated...

Let's play Jeopardy! "Things that shouldn't come up as regular conversation after you've been home for half an hour."

So I went home on Saturday night to take Mary out for dinner for her birthday. When I got there my cousin Laura was there as I had known she would be, but Mary had also brought a friend. Crap. And here's me with absolutely no money.

So I'm there at home, chatting with everyone, in a bit of a weird crazy mood because of the massive amounts of sugar I always consume on the way down to Sydney, when I ask about something random, like a TV show or something, and my grandma comes out with:

"Uncle George died this morning."

WHAT??? I just burst into tears. Uncle George is my grandma's little brother, whom she adores/d. He's been sick for so long, and we all knew it was coming, but it still shocked me. And the way she just came out with it all of a sudden. I was pretty annoyed that she didn't call me in the morning as soon as she found out, but she said she didn't want to tell me because she knew I'd be coming down anyway. ARGH.

So anyway, the next day we went to Auntie Joan's to hang out, cos that's what we do when someone dies. My grandma is in her prime in these situations, cracking jokes like there's no tomorrow. It was funny to see her so on fire. My cousin Carolina was there with her kids, who I just think are the greatest. Matthew, her oldest son, and the oldest of the grandkids on their side, has been hit the hardest. He was so close with Uncle George. They were more like father and son.

Something that annoyed me was that my grandma compared the close bond between Matt and Uncle George and Daniel and Nonno. I'm so sick of everyone saying how close Dan and Nonno were, and the reason that people keep saying it is because Dan keeps saying that nonno was his best friend. Well, Dan had a crappy way of showing it. He never did anything Nonno asked him to do and Nonno was always disappointed in Dan.

My grandma had a dream the other day, just before George passed away, about my Nonno, and in it he was angry at Jonas. Hmmm, I wonder what that could signify? Yet everyone's gone and interpreted it as an, "Oh yes, it was because Uncle George died." It couldn't have anything to do with Dan and Jonas going to Indy the weekend we were supposed to scatter the ashes.

PS. I really need to move on.

So anyway, the funeral should be sometime this week, and hopefully I get told today.

Do I dare/ Disturb the universe?

So I went to the Hub yesterday to talk to my programme officer about exchange. Basically her information was the stuff I'd worked out for myself, things like how I wouldn't be doing education subjects, just english and history. Thanks. Meanwhile, I have now picked up an application form and I'm ready to get the ball rolling. PLEASE work out!

I also have to start working on my next assignment. I'm hoping to have it done by next weekend at the latest so then I can start on the NEXT one. Our tutor doesn't seem to really get what we have to do. He expects us to do all this stuff, and I felt like going, "Erm, you know it's only 1000 words... you can't even go into depth on the ONE text in that many words, let alone extras." Whatever. I've decided to do my essay on T. S. Eliot's "The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock" because I remember studying it at school and I kind of hated it, but I reread it this year and loved it. It will be nice writing an essay about it without going on about alliteration and similes.

Not too much else. Still in a pissy mood, but at least I know why now. Tomorrow, Trent from work is hosting a murder mystery party for his birthday. It's Roman themed, though get this for my character:
HER NAME IS ROTUNDA. Thanks. Give me the fat name. :P
The character is awesome though. Full name, Rotunda Immaculata, and she's a Vestal Virgin and beautiful. I hope I'm the murderer!!! I really do. I'm tossing up whether to make a toga or wear this kind of Grecian maxi dress I've had since last year but have never worn. I also found an awesome laurel-leaf-looking headband from Diva so I'll wear that too.
Cannot wait!