- Tucking flared or bootcut jeans into boots. Just don't do it. The only things that can go into boots are straight or skinny leg jeans. Uni kills me with this trend. It's not right that your jeans bunch up and puff out above where they've been tucked into the boots. Come on!
- People who sign birthday cards and the like, "Love Cindy and Bob," when clearly it's just from Cindy, seeing as I've only invited Cindy and I hate Bob, and YOU'VE ONLY SPENT A PITTANCE ON ME. If it's from the two of you I expect double the present. Simple. *swap the words Cindy and Bob with Emma and Mick.
- People who ask questions during lectures. No. Lectures are for lecturing. That's why we have tutorials, where you can speak to your tutor one-on-one. In the lecture, if you have a question, write it down and discuss it in tutorial time. Don't stop the lecturer mid-thought and ask something. That's not the purpose of the lecture.
- While we're on the topic of lectures, don't correct the lecturer with stupid things. "Jo, you just said the population was 50 million, but the powerpoint slide says 51 million. Which is it?" Use your brain. You aren't an intellectual because the lecturer read the slide out wrong. You're a wanker that's interupting things and is annoying.
- Customers who come into my store and say, "I'm looking for a book" -good, cos you're in a bookstore - "but I don't know the title. Or the author's surname. His first name was John though." Ah yes, John something. No no, you just wait here, and I'll bring you all the books whose author's name is John. You're welcome.
- Housemates who seem to have a hearing problem. Let me write this in capslock so you can hear it: TURN YOUR BLOODY TELEVISION AND YOUR STUPID MUSIC DOWN! I SHOULDN'T BE ABLE TO HEAR IT WORD PERFECTLY THROUGH THE WALLS. At least watch/listen to something decent. The Biggest Loser??? Bond?? (the "classical" quartet, not the secret agent.)
- Housemates who seem to have a BRAIN PROBLEM. You see, the landlord spoke to that housemate today and told them that we'd been complaining about her noise levels. You'd think that'd be a reason to turn that shit down, at least on the day you were told. Obviously not.
- Bills. Stop sending them to me, because frankly I just don't have the money. GARR!
- Again with the lectures, but seriously, why turn up if you're just going to talk to your friends the entire time?? Unlike you, my mummy and daddy aren't paying for my degree, and I hope to actually get something out of it. Ok, sure, I'm not actually paying for my degree either, but I earned that bloody scholarship!!
- If I start walking home from uni and the sun is out, I expect the sun to stay out for the entire duration. None of this bullshit, "Oh, Sarah's about one street away from her house. She's almost made it home, so let's START POURING DOWN WITH RAIN." Yes. Let's do that on the day she's wearing her hot new tan boots that midway through the downpour she realises she hasn't yet waterproofed. Let's.
Gosh I'm bitter. But I love it.
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