Looking Backwards and Forwards

So, as with most people, I find the end of the year/start of a new year to be a time of reflection.

I spent my NYE with Mikey, one of my favourite people on the planet. It was one of those nights when everyone seemed to have plans and those plans didn't seem to include me. Actually, that sentence sounds kind of mopey. What I mean is, everyone had plans already, and I wasn't really in the mood for anything ridiculous as I think I'm getting the flu. So Mikey and I hung out and watched The Muppets Movie and got all soppy about friendship.

Which brings me to the purpose of this post.

This past year has brought me a lot of turmoil. I haven't had a shake-up like this since high school, which is pretty normal to have fallings out with your friends. I rang in 2011 surrounded by people I thought were friends, only to have them turn around and stab me in the back during the year. It breaks my heart to think about how much I loved these people. Not only did I lose friends, the way in which it occured left me doubting everything about myself: my values, my personality, my ability to be a good friend, etc. I'm still a little shakey, and I'm still left questioning myself, but the soul-searching that this incident required has make me stronger in the end, I feel, and has reconfirmed my core beliefs. I've come to the tentative conclusion that those people were dealing with their own issues and pushed them onto me. It doesn't stop the hurt and the self-doubt, but it helps on a logical level.

At the same time though, what I went through this year has helped to strengthen the relationships that are genuine. The people that have stood by me and supported me, and have never doubted me, even when I doubted myself, have made this year worth the hassle.

Uni-wise, I've passed all my subjects and now only have internship to go! I can't believe I'm only 6 months away from graduating the degree that felt it wouldn't end. I don't want to jinx it, but for me this degree was so difficult - not from an academic point of view, but from a personal point of view - that I'm so proud of myself for what I've accomplished. I know I still have to get over the major hurdle of internship, but I'm confident in my abilities and I know I'll be able to get through it.

I've also really enjoyed the fact that this year I've really gotten into various crafts. I miss having hobbies. At the moment I'm working on a completely paper pieced hexagon quilt. This baby may take me years, but it's a lot of fun. I've also started making my first dress. It's about halfway finished now - just the interfacing and zipper to go. I can't believe how long I put dressmaking off, and how easy it has been!

Now, for the resolutions. I'm not normally one for resolutions, because I hate the idea of setting goals and not being able to achieve them. But I think these ones may be within my limits. I'm dividing them into groups though.

UNI
- Graduate.
- Get a job in the country.

MONEY
- Pay off credit card.
- Use the things you already have before buying new things. OR, use the one in, one out method: for every new item purchased, something has to be thrown out or given to charity.
- Start saving.

CRAFT
- Start working on UFOs (unfinished objects) before buying anything new.

HEALTH
- Actually use gym membership. Twice a week shouldn't be too hard.
- Get proactive about mental health. Do excercises the therapist gives you. Don't put things off or dismiss them as too hard. Take medication on time and regularly!!!

LIFE
- Don't get too caught up in drama.
- TRAVEL!!! Goal is to go overseas during the Christmas break.

I think that should do it. I should probably start it all by getting out of bed, but I'm so sleepy!

Blurgh

When I restarted blogging, I made a conscious decision that this would be whinge-free. So far I've sort of kept to that promise to myself, although, it has made the posts rather fluffy, but today I'm breaking it with an obligatory uni whinge.

I'm currently sitting at the back of the uni library waiting to finally get the motivation to finish the assignment I'm working on. I'm using prezi for the first time, and while it's easy enough, I just can't be arsed. I'm working on an assignment for a 1st year class I'm taking during this uni break as they introduced it at a weird time a year or so ago, and I'm only now getting around to taking it. The fact that it's 1st year means that it's hella easy, and the fact that I'm even using prezi means that I'll automatically get 8 marks out of 20. BUT I just cannot be arsed. It's due at midnight tonight and it feels like more effort than it's worth. I'm currently working on getting the motivation to finish it today, rather than wait for the weekend.

I will say one thing about prezi: it definitely lends itself to the way my mind works. I like that I can write down whichever idea comes into my head, then at the end of it all I just have to click on each area to decide on the order the information is viewed. Even if I put random info together, I just don't have to show the other area until I'm ready for it. Excellent.

And the most frustrating thing of all is that I'm so close to the end of the semester! Two of my classes end the week after the break, the one I'm doing now is only a compressed course, so it's just this week and next week (although more assignments are due later), and so I've only got one more that goes for the rest of the semester, which is really only one more month. BUT this is the time where I usually start deciding that it's all too hard and it will never end, then do something that will sabotage everything. I'm working really hard to ensure that this is not the case this time, especially since I'm so close to the finish line. After this semester, I just have a few weeks of classes, then internship. Then I'm done and don't have to worry anymore.

Le sigh.

Back to School, and Becoming Claudia

So this week was the first week back at uni for the semester. I can tell it's going to be a long and boring one, seeing as this semester I am redoing the classes I failed last year when I was going through my depressed phase. It doesn't seem too bad so far for my Junior English class, because even though I have the same tutor and lecturer, it still seems quite fresh, and she's changed the assignments for the class this year which I'm happy about - I wouldn't want to put in all that work again on trying to write a new essay on the same topic.

My Junior History class, however, is exactly the same. Right down to even doing the exact same tutorial activities and readings as the class last year. Now, that's just lazy. The assignments are the same as well, but that's fine with me - unlike the English assignments, I didn't really try very hard with History and pretty much did the bare minimum for the first assignment, scraping through with only a very low credit. This time, I know exactly what it is the lecturer wants us to say, and, having now taught in a history classroom, I have some real ideas on lessons and what will work for the assignment.

That said, I'm already over this semester. I just want to finish it so that I'm finally able to do my internship and start earning some money.

Speaking of money, tomorrow I start a new baby sitting gig. It's just casual sitting, for a family with three kids. I'm hoping it all works out, then I'll be working for them once or twice a fortnight. Coupled with the baby sitting I already do, and the tutoring, as well as the fact that the people I already sit for are passing on my details to some of their kids' friends' parents, I'm looking pretty set for the rest of this semester, fingers crossed. And all those Baby Sitters Club books I devoured as a kid are finally starting to pay off.

Also, even in their worst tantrums, dealing with kids isn't anywhere near as bad as dealing with douche customers and colleagues...

Barnaby

Meet Barnaby.

Barnaby is the little critter I made for my friend Beau's birthday last week. I haven't had a chance to post about him because I've been busy doing absolutely nothing with my life. You know how it is. The photo above shows Barnaby believing he can soak up knowledge by just being around books.

He's a little bit wonky, and when I say a little I mean a lot. Beau chose all the adorable fabric, and then I went to work.

Barnaby does not like to smile:

He thinks it's lame. Barnaby's face is constantly set with a mixture of "Bitch, please" and slight nausea.

Barnaby loves snuggles in winter, but hates them in summer. If you try to snuggle him in summer he will smack you down with those long arms of his. He's not quite tame yet, so he tends to smack most people down. Mikey is trying to tame him. Unfortunately I think he's fighting a losing battle. It's also a little awkward because Barnaby very much dislikes owls, making Owlby feel a little worried.

I also made a wonky present for Melanie's birthday, which was a week later. I forgot to take a photo of him, so here's one I stole from her blog:

Penguini is an Italian penguin. He would like to point out that his mustache is in no way some douchey hipster fad; he's been rocking that bad boy since the day he first noticed a little bum fluff. He hates the fact that he has to explain to everybody, "No! Dees is my Italiano mostachio! Ima no wannabeea!" Don't tell Penguini, but he has a ridiculous stereotyped accent - I don't know any Italian that actually speaks English that way. BUT he is rocking it anyway.

So that's what I've been doing with my holidays so far. Oh, and making a jigsaw puzzle. And sorting through all my uni stuff and getting rid of all the stuff I've kept that I don't actually need (random notes and handouts) and sorting the rest into things that will be useful for my future teaching. I'd love to be one of those people that can just type everything up and keep it in various, well-organised computer files, but alas, I'm old school and must place everything in labeled folders that, if I ever do need a resource, will require me to spend ages flipping through each page to see if it is there. It's tedious, but it works for me.